Learning to.........Delight!!!

My absolute favorite verse and why I named this blog after it. I have never been more thankful for the calling that God has on my life. It is a calling that I can not do on my own.... not even a little bit. 




"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults,hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corin. 12:9-10


We HATE weaknesses, don't we?? We don't like to feel powerless, weak, insufficient. We don't like when others see our weaknesses and we have very little tolerance for others weaknesses.  

 (vs.9) Boast.....With gladness...


TRUTH~ Gods word says that our weaknesses are GOOD! He calls us to share openly about our weaknesses with gladness. Not just gladness, but also to be content with them!




 PROMISE~ ............SO THAT the power of Christ may rest upon me......


I feel my weaknesses are constantly on display, especially when it comes to being a wife and mother. There are days when I literally wake up all ready depleted. Yesterday, as we celebrated Mother's Day, I had a tiny moment of a breakdown. How often I fail more then I "get it right." My heart is to lead them to Jesus and yet, so many times I allow my exhaustion to lead. 

Last night I cred out to Lord to help me seek HIM first.... "I don't want to be this person.." I cried out. "I want to be the wife and mom you have called me to be, not perfect, but obedient. Help me to lead those around me to YOU!!" It's tough to do exactly what I ask my kids to do.... "Just pray! Even if you have to stop what you are doing a hundred times a day... Just Pray!"  

 I get to be the mother to five amazing children and the wife to a man I don't deserve, which means I get to pray them through life. Not fix problems (though wise counsel is good) but PRAY! It's our gift that HE has given us and there is so much power in it. Not because everything will be magically better, but it redirects our hearts to HIS! ...... and that! .... That is what I'm seeking......



This morning, the Lord gave me an opportunity to do just that. One of our babies woke up angry (not uncommon) and just mean (not uncommon) and we always tell this child that they are operating in the flesh and we can't be "good" or sweet, or loving with out HIS power. Let's pray for the Lord to help you, Let's ask for forgiveness and ask Him to help you.... This child would never do it.... and though I can pray for them, I can't make them do it..... This sweet child is only displaying on the outside what we all feel and do on the inside. BUT This morning, through tears, this child wanted too, but was held back.... Not understanding the tears and the feelings behind it.... "I don't even know what to say to Him."...... and we talked and prayed and embraced those tears..... and the prayer just came......

Was everything perfect after that??? Nope! BUT it's in those moments that we know that God is at work. Not because of me, but because of His love for us...... and in my exhaustion ... Those are the moments I want to remember.....  (singing) " With the world behind me, and the cross before me"


Sometimes the spiritual attacks can cut us deep. I long to have a heart that stops in the middle of the mess and say "Thank you Jesus, thank you for this pain, this uncertainty. Thank you for allowing me to put my weaknesses on full display so that others may see YOU." What an honor! What a privilege that I take for granted, every.single.time!



(1Corin. 1:31) "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

Alive with Christ!

"Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heavens opened, and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased." 

Luke 3:21-22

I love this picture with the verse showing!! Pastor Joe and hubby were joking about just throwing him in the water.

     On Easter Sunday our middle child, Jacob, was baptized at Sand Key Beach. Leading up to Easter our kids were hit hard with the stomach flu. I will spare you the awful details that would make anyone run for the hills, so just take my word for it that it was BAD! My poor daughter had to go to the emergency room twice because of dehydration. Everyone was finally on the mend and then Jacob got it. :( He was so upset. He accepted Jesus in his heart last September and he has been waiting for Easter to get baptized. I am aware that he could have done it at anytime, but he was very adamant about waiting til then and not only that , but he said it had to be at the beach. This is between him and the Lord, who are we to argue?

Do you except Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?

He was still to sick to go to church that morning and I told him that the ocean was still freezing. We could plan it another time.... Nope! He said, "It has to be done today."  Got to love his determination!

As the Lord would have it, Jacob stated to feel better and he was baptized. The hubby and I could not be more proud. It is an honor being able to pray as we watch the Lord draw our kids to Him. 

 As I was writing this, I asked Jacob why he was so determined to wait and get baptized in the ocean verses doing it at our church. He said,"Because the world needed to watch.  You never know who would see Jesus." 

And as only God could orchestrate. Almost seven years ago, I was baptized in the exact same spot when Jacob was 9 months in my tummy.  

Yes, Hubby and I were baptized together. When we got married, we both were not living our lives for the Lord.. not even a little bit.. When we both felt called to get baptized, we knew we needed to do it together. It was not only our witness to the world that we were the Lord's, but our marriage would be too. Theologians... no  comments. It was between us and the Lord.  It just so happened that I was 9 months pregnant with our third child, since we only know our "right now" and God knows our tomorrows, read about what happened a couple of days after this picture was taken.

" For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin.  Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.  We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.  For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.  So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus."

                                                         Romans 6:5-11




Praising the Lord for His Redeeming Love,

Learning to .....Love!

"Now is the Son of man glorified, and God glorified in him...... Little Children, yet a little while I am with you. You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, "Where I am going you can not come." A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have loved one another." John13:31-35

      This verse comes after John saw who was going to betray Jesus. When Judas left the room, Jesus knew that now, now is when he would be most glorified... Can you imagine how John must have felt? Knowing that Judas was going to betray Jesus.... Then Jesus tells His disciples that people knew they were His because they were with Him, but soon Jesus would no longer be here. He tells them to love.  So simple, yet so hard. Love one another and that is how people will know Jesus.


     I have been pondering this verse for sometime. What does it look like to love? I personally believe there is no one way to love the way Jesus has asked us too.  When I first got married, someone said to me to pay attention to the way my hubby loves me, because it will look different then the way I love him. Neither way is wrong if the intentions are correct, but if we are so focused on loving the way we expect someone to love us then we are missing it and not only are we missing it, we are most likely fighting over it.



        Our love for each other is suppose to bind the Church body to each other and to Him.

    The Lord has been showing me these last couple of months that its not about imitating Him, but we get to participate with Him!. What a gift!!!  We are part of the vine. He has grafted us in. Jesus, the light, broke forth into this dark world, WE get to be light bears and break into this dark world. Not imitating Him but participating WITH Him!! We are not copying the Light, we are IN the Light!. Praise be to God to send His Son to die, so that we may live! "Now is the Son of man glorified, and God glorified in Him."



...and just so we are clear... We can do NOTHING apart from Him.

My BEST gift!

On this rare moment that I have alone time, sitting in a Starbucks trying to get much  needed work done, The Lord is beckoning me to Him. I love that! I love that He is always drawing us to Him.

One thing that I have been shown this past year is that I quickly settle for good, or "So-so" When God clearly has a "better"for me. Thinking about in Hebrews when  Abraham, Moses, and others walked by faith. not looking back knowing that God had a better for them (Hebrews 11:40)

As I take that into account regarding Christmas and how God literally gave US His best! His son, Jesus. He gave us life, He rescued us, He sees all that we are and yet, loves us anyway. So much so that He allowed His son to die for it. Not just a quick death where He knew He would see Him again, but a long, drawn out, painful, death. For people that would not even see it as a gift. He took the burdens and sins off of me and put it on Him. I can't even comprehend the depths of that.

Because He has given more to me then I can count, I want to give  my best in return. We do not have the authority to give life, but we do have the authority to share His truth.

In 1Samuel when the people were begging for a King to rule over them, much as we all do today, they wanted what the rest of the world had. They wanted a "so-so" not a "Better" When Samuel pleaded to the Lord on their behalf He says to him," Only you shall solemnly warn them the ways of the King who shall reign over them." You see, the people had rejected God. They were not going to hear from Him, but they did not reject Samuel. Not yet anyways, So he could still speak truth into them. He could still tell them that their desire to be like the rest of the world was wrong and that a True King, something better then you could ever fathom was right there. Though the people still refused to listen, Samuel did as he was told. He walked in obedience proclaiming Christ.

I want to love the people in my life enough to do that. I want to show them, tell them that their is a "better" for them. That there is Hope. So many people have rejected the Lord, but they have not rejected me..yet. With His Spirit in us we can proclaim the good news to everyone we meet without fear. We know where we are going. We know that death has lost it sting thanks to His gift. Others do not. They need to know. We need to stand firm in faith knowing that God has a plan for those He puts in our path. We need to speak boldly, with love, sharing the best gift.

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light;

those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness on them light has shined."

"For to US a child is born;

to US a child is given;

and the government shall e upon His shoulders, and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, Of the increase of His government and of peace THERE WILL BE NO END."

Father, help me to speak your truth even when its uncomfortable. Help me to speak to those that think they know you. Help me to speak to those that could care less. Help me to love like you. Open my eyes to the people around me who desperately need you and help me to remember that I desperately need you. Like the manna that rots when the suns sets, help me to go to you everyday. Pour into me King Jesus, so that I may pour out.

My two year old

Caleb's birthday is tomorrow, but with all the craziness going on in our lives the only day we could have  a mini celebration was on Friday. I may or may not have cried several times throughout the day.

Last year on Caleb's birthday I really thought that we would be in Ethiopia ready to take him home. That was not the case and on his first birthday I was a mess. I am his mommy and I was not there to celebrate my baby! It was hard. Really hard, but then the Lord in all His goodness and faithfulness gave me a sweet present. In the late afternoon of his first birthday I received an email from my agency with a "Please keep a secret" in the email. When I opened it, there was my baby with a birthday hat on his little bald head, icing on his chubby cheeks and all his friends around him. The nannies loved our sweet boy so much and knew that I could not be there, decided to throw him a first birthday party. I can't even explain to you how unheard of this was and how much this meant to me. 

I have a lot more pictures with  more kiddos, but unfortunately some of them still do not have families, so I am unable to post them. BUT I will forever cherish the HUGE blessing that the Lord did and I know that Caleb will as well.

Birthdays have always meant a lot to me. Not because of presents or making sure my kids feel spoiled, but I love having a day where we can thank the Lord for their lives and to reminiscence about all the God has done. Yes, I do this with all my kids. We are thankful to be each one of their parents and God has done a work in each of our kids. We love to be able to look back and praise Him for them. God allowed me to not miss one of those opportunities with Caleb.

My two year old!

Caleb had a ball on his birthday. He was running all over the place. He really only opened one present because he just wanted to play with it. That is huge as well. When he got home, it took him about two months to even know how to play. We had to teach him to play with toys. He had never seen them before and had no clue. Now, he is obsessed with cars and trucks. He has a beloved police car that he says is "Daddy's car!"  For his birthday my mom got him a bigger one that lights up. He was in heaven! He even sleeps with it.

 He hears music and he must shake his booty (just like his momma) so he thought it was hilarious that we all sang to him!

Unfortunately I did not get a single family picture. :(   I guess it is a good thing, since I was crying most of the time :)

Thank You Jesus for allowing me to be his mom.  How blessed am I that even in the midst of sorrow you bring joy! More than I could ever hope for or imagine.  I am excited to watch Caleb grow into the man that you want him to be.




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After much prayer and clear direction form the Lord, I unfortunately am not going to be able to go on the mission trip to Ethiopia. My heart hurts just to write that and I really am upset, but God has His reasons and I need to obey. Thank you all so much for donating and sacrificing for the trip. Your money is going to the team. Some people still have money to raise and what I was given will go to them. Thank you all again for blessing me and now to bless others.

They keep you humble!

"Mom, You are soooooooooo pretty!!!!" 

                                 Me~ "Awwww thanks sweetie!"

"Mom, Can women have mustaches??"

                                 Me~ "Well, kind of... not really.."

"Oh....then what do you call the hair right there." (Pointing to my upper lip)

 HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!!! OFF TO FIND MY TWEEZERS :)

A year ago

It was a year ago on Sunday when we held our precious Caleb Leykun for the first time.

                          I remember the anticipation and wondering what it would be like.

It was more joyful then I could have ever imagined and it was more painful then I ever could have imagine.

There were a group of us in a room waiting for the nannies to bring us our kiddos. One of the men was peeking out the window and yelled that  a little baby was coming. We didn't think it was ours, because from all the pictures Caleb was huge. So when Hermela walked in with him we were not prepared. I saw the baby in her arms and yelled, "He's ours, that's our boy!"  What an amazing feeling. To finally hug and kiss your child that God has placed on your heart, the child you have been praying over for over a year. It was our boy and we could not be more ecstatic!

One thing that I really wanted to bring was an album for Caleb to keep with him while we were gone. I knew he was young, but it meant so much to me for him to see that he had a family waiting desperately for him to come home.

                     Look at the bald head!!!  This is Caleb looking at the album we left with him.


Caleb still loves that album. He grabs it all the time when I am going to read to him and he tells me who everyone is in the pictures. He points out hubby and I and his brothers and sisters. It melts my heart.

He loves to pose for the camera.. haha!!

                                           

I remember leaving him. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. On the last day of being with him there was a group of us and only a small few could fit into the van and we thankfully got to leave last. It was just hubby and I and all the kiddos. I cried my eyes out and didn't stop that whole day. Having to lay him in the crib and walk away tore my heart out. 



I have a lot of friends who are going through that now. I know that pain. It is indescribable and the not knowing of when you can go get him is the worst, BUT going through that experience has caused me to trust the Lord in a whole new way. I got to see God first hand do mighty things and I honestly wouldn't change it for anything. Even though it took 4 very long months after this point to get him here. I still would not change it. God's timing is/was perfect! I could not say that during it, but I can look back and see His hand in every single thing we went through.
 

For this child I prayed and the Lord has granted me

                           Oh my sweet boy!!! He can suck you in with that cuteness!!!


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Don't forget about my mission trip fundraiser. We are slowly getting there, but I need your help!!!!  God has so much planned for us and I can not wait!

Pray!!   Pray!!   Buy a T-Shirt!!   Donate!!  Pray!!


Blessed beyond measure,